The High-Brow News Coverage of the BBC

In response to this article about a man and a goat, Chico's Bail Bonds says...

"In the words of Tom Hanks' character in The Terminal: 'He love that goat.'

Genocide. Can we get some ink on the GENOCIDE in Sudan and not the goat-marrying? Thanks, BBC!

Next up, Iran hopes to make the most powerful microwave the world!!"

That was yesterday. Today, I read this article from the BBC about how New Orleans mayor Roy Nagin wants to make New Orleans a "chocolate city." The BBC states that Mr. Nagin's controversial comments "may have alienated some people."

Hell yeah they did. Like me. Everyone knows there's only one chocolate city...

Chappelle at the Kennedy Center

Tickets to Dave Chappelle's show at the Kennedy Center went on sale today at 10am. Needless to say, the web site froze up at precisely 10am, so I didn't get tickets. In hindsight, however, I'm not disappointed. Check out the screen shot from the Kennedy Center's web site...

It clearly says "Dave Chappelle performs a special concert..." Well fuck that! I want to see him perform stand-up comedy, not play the oboe.

Happy 2/27!

Today is February 27, official holiday of Cafe 227. Celebrate accordingly. Our suggestion: watch 24 tonight, then do shots of patron afterwards while listening to David Banner.

Things that amuse me...

• Damon Wayans is apparently trying to launch a new clothing line. To borrow a line from NBA Jam, I feel that this is the nail in the coffin of his career.
• Conor says, "Remember when you asked me what the definition of irony was? H&R block is restating its earnings because it miscalculated its state income tax."
• Conor also says, "If all bars were like this I would quit drinking."
• "What are you sinking about?" Hilarious.
• I tried to use this guy's pickup line at a bar last night. It didn't work.
• Here's the Daily Show's take on the whole Dick Cheney quail-shooting thing. Even though they ripped off my "Duck Hunt" idea, it had me in stitches. That John Stewart - is there anyone funnier?
• Check out these pics from an abondoned amusement park. Creepy.
• Sugar's - a crap-tastic deli near Georgetown's campus - is closing. Count me among those happy to see it go.

I Just Threw Up in my Mouth

After reading this, I think I'm going to take a little break from McDonald's for a while.

(And on another note, that's a heck of a science project for a 7th grader. Beats the crap out of my 7th grade science project, "How Steam can be Harnessed for Energy." Basically, I demonstrated how steam - generated by a beaker of water and a Bunsen burner - could move a small plastic wheel. Lame, I know. But then again, I didn't have an older brother who was "an award-winning science fair veteran" like this girl does.)

(Bonus alternative title for this post: "I'll have a Big Mac and a side of e-coli.")

The World is a Dangerous Place

A friend sent this article around yesterday (headline: "India and Malaysia Rule Out Bird Flu in 12 People") with the following commentary:

"Do you guys have any idea how many people are in India??!? We're fucked."

To which another friend replied with this article (headline: "Oceans are 70% Shark Free, Says New Research") and the following response:

"I don't find it as reassuring as I think the author and scientists seem to. The ocean is 30% full of sharks?!? That's scarier than all but 12 people in India having the bird flu! I am never leaving my apartment again."

What have we learned?

1. The world is a very dangerous place; and

2. My friends are hilarious.

Shaw

Here's a nice article from the Washington Post this morning that describes some of the issues facing the incumbent community in Shaw (the neighborhood directly east of Cafe 227) in the face of rapid gentrification.

While the tone is quite serious, that should not preclude you from enjoying the occassional nugget of unintentional comedy, such as this:

"In the bad years, yes, there was drug dealing and violence, like the night his brother was shot twice in the leg. But it still was community."

(I know there are better arguments against rapid gentrification than this....)

Georgetown Students: Soon to Dress Lamer

I went to college once. A good one, actually. It was expensive. Even with a ton of financial aid and three jobs, I still accumulated an unhealthy amount of credit card debt just to get by. My sophomore year, I went on a road trip to New Orleans for spring break with about $170 to my name, which I got by canceling my meal plan and cashing the refund check. My meals for the rest of the semester consisted of ramen noodles, meatballs, and Easter cookies that my roommate's parents sent him.

I couldn't help but remember experiences such as this as I read an article by reporter Erin Killian from this week's Washington Business Journal titled "Georgetown Cheers Arrival of Polo's New Rugby Store." Although the actual article inexplicably is not posted online, here are a few choice excerpts (interspersed with my running commentary):

"Georgetown has snagged another national retailer, and this one's bringing just what the kids in the neighborhood need: More rugby shirts."

Now, I don't know if Killian is being tongue-in-cheek here. If she is, kudos to her for getting this thinly-veiled swipe at the fashion "sensibilities" of Georgetown students past her editor. If not, we're in for some fun...

"Rugby, a new concept from Polo Ralph Lauren targeting 18- to 25-year-olds, has leased 7,000 square feet at 1065 Wisconsin Ave. NW, just below M Street.

The store sells $68 rugby shirts - 17 styles for men and six for women, with custom patches that cutomers can add."

Whoa. $68?!? For a shirt that, if interpreted literally, should be worn while running around and kicking an oblong ball in the mud? Seems a bit steep - especially for a product targeted at typical college kids. Maybe these shirts aren't targeted at typical college kids after all. I always considered myself a typical college student, and I was forced to adopt a life of petty crime simply to feed myself in college.

"The other locations are in Charlottesville, Va.; Chapel Hill, N.C.; Boston; New York City; and New Canaan, Conn."

Ok, not surprised at all by those other locations. Also, it's worth noting Killian's arbitrary treatment of state abbreviations - Virginia is "Va" rather than "V.A.," North Carolina is "N.C." rather than "Nc," and Connecticut is "Conn." rather than "C.T." or "Ct." This vexes me. I'm terribly vexed.

"Rugby shirts join other typical collegiate duds, such as corduroy trousers, crew-neck sweaters, tweed jackets, toggle coats and puffy vests."

Now I'm getting angry. First of all, this isn't even a complete sentence. Where, precisely, are the rugby shirts joining the other collegiate duds? Is there some big clothing party for which the rugby shirts are running late? "Hey tweed jacket, it's rugby shirt. I'm running a little late - I'll just join you guys at the party later. It's at Smith Point, right?"

Second, I'd like to take issue with Killian's assertion that "corduroy trousers, crew-neck sweaters, tweed jackets, toggle coats and puffy vests" qualify as "typical collegiate duds." To test my theory that such "duds" are not "typical," I turned to the junior analyst here at my office, who happens to be a recent college grad and thus an expert in collegiate duds. To protect his identity (and because he's Mexican), we'll call him Hector. Here's the transcript of our lunchtime instant messenger chat:

Me: "Ok, for the record, where did you go to school?"

Hector: "Johns Hopkins"

Me: "How often did you wear corduroy trousers?"

[long pause]

Hector: "Never. Maybe once."

Me: "Ok, um, how about tweed jackets?"

Hector: "Never."

Me: "Puffy vests?"

Hector: "As in insulated vests? Like North Face?"

Me: "I don't know, I never wore puffy vests either."

Hector: "Girls wear those. And douchebags."

Me: "Oh. Well what did you wear then?"

Hector: "Jeans and a shirt."

There you have it. I know my sample size (n=1) indicates that much more research is needed. But a preliminary interpretation of the results confirms my a priori expectation: that jeans and shirts are typical collegiate duds, while courduroy trousers, crew-neck sweaters, tweed jackets, toggle coats and puffy vests are typical duds for "girls and douchebags." Ms. Killian, some advice: next time you write an article, make sure it's thoroughly researched.

-----

Just a few lingering thoughts on this subject:

• The new Polo Rugby store is taking the space on Wisconsin avenue where Houston's restaurant used to be. I was quite fond of Houston's, which closed for no apparent reason 5 years ago.
• Another priceless quote from the article: "For Polo to go below M Street is a big deal, and it plays off of Patagonia very well." Yep, I think that about sums it up.
• The new Three 6 Mafia song made me briefly reconsider my stance on popping one's collar. But with all due respect to Three 6 Mafia, I still think it's completely unacceptable.

Terrorism Expert? My Ass

I was watching the news with my friend Theron last weekend when I realized that the featured "terrorism expert" had been one of my classmates at Georgetown. Does anyone recognize this guy? His name is Evan Kohlmann, and I distinctly recall him sitting in the corner at various Village C parties, ripping bong hits, not looking at anyone, and muttering to himself.

How is this guy an expert at anything besides maybe being a young Jack the Ripper? I bet he is currently writing a manifesto called "How to Kill", perhaps in some sort of speckled notebook he carries around in a tote bag. He's really way too young--and weird--- to be taken seriously as an expert on terrorism.

15th in the World isn't so Bad...

I don't know who this guy "Diserio" is. But in his rankings of world skylines, Pittsburgh's was ranked #15. Eat that, Cleveland.

Dude, My House is Awesome!

At the suggestion of DCist, I was thinking about making a trip to Mount Vernon to celebrate Presidents' Day weekend. After all, it has been a while since I've visited.

So I went to the web site, where I was greeted with a quaint flash movie. And in the opening frame of the movie, this quote appeared:

"No estate in United America is more pleasantly situated than this." - George Washington

Whoa. This may or may not be true, but is George Washington really a credible, independent source here? I mean, it was his house. That's like John Travolta saying Broken Arrow was the most courageous and transcedent film ever produced in United America. Again, while it may or may not be true, you're not really going to believe it coming from the movie's lead actor.

I don't care if he's never told a lie, I simply cannot take George Washington's opinion of his own estate at face value. Plus, I'm quite sure that our other founding fathers would disagree...

Stupidest. Car. Ever.

As I was crawling through traffic en route to work this morning, I saw the stupidest-looking car ever built. Loyal readers, I present to you the Chevrolet HHR...

It's as if the designers at GM sought out the previous stupidest-looking car ever built (that would be the Chrysler PT Cruiser) and figured out a way to make it look worse in every respect. Upon seeing this car next to me, I wanted to sideswipe it into oncoming traffic, destroying this loathsome mechanical beast forever. Unless you need a vehicle to cart you and your Proton Pack around the city while you're chasing Slimer, this car is good for nothing.

Brett Keisel LOVES Jerome Bettis

This is a picture of my 13-year old brother (we'll call him "Mattie Shades") getting an autograph from Steelers' standout special teamer Brett Keisel at the Pittsburgh Auto Show this past weekend.

Now, it appears that Brett is wearing a Jerome Bettis jersey. Which vexes me to no end - I mean, Brett plays for the Steelers. So why wouldn't he be wearing - oh, I don't know - his own jersey? Or Tommy Maddox's?

Work Sucks.

It does. It totally gets in the way of my blogging. In the wake of Valentine's Day, I was going to post a 3,000 word exposition today on the true meaning of love, with metaphors and allegories and all types of beautiful applications of rhetoric that would have put Winston Churchill himself to shame. But since I don't have time, I'll just let Boston Celtic's guard Delonte West wax poetic for me:

"So, I pick her up in my white convertible. From there, I'd have the music pumping on the radio. The Jim Jones pumping, you know, 'Summer in Miami' song pumping. Got to keep a little gangsta, you can't be too soft. You can't be in there playing some guy that's crying, talking about don't leave me and love me baby, wah wah and all that. So Jim Jones pumping and then from there, wind blowing through the hair, boom, we get straight to the point -- we eat afterwards because I don't want to kiss no onions. "

Thanks Delonte.

Some other links that will keep you occupied...

• A helpful primer on International Relations that we can all understand.
• Willie Nelson releases a gay cowboy song. Clearly, he's gunning for a Grammy.
• On the whole, Mormons are fatter than non-Mormons. They're also crazier.
• "Officials Blame Seahawks Loss on Seattle."
• This headline from the Wall Street Journal (registration required) begins like this: "As Young Women Drink More..." I will spare everyone the inevitably offensive punchline to this joke, but if you would like to suggest any alternative punchlines, feel free to comment at will.

Happy Valentine's Day

Do you have that Valentine's Day "spirit" in you today? You know - butterflies, shortness of breath, a feeling of concupiscence welling up inside you as you wait in eager anticipation to meet your lover after work today for a romantic dinner or a night at the opera? [This is just conjecture, of course, as I truly know nothing about what couples do on Valentine's Day.]

Well, nothing will knock this feeling out of you faster than this article from The Atlantic, which distills love into its base elements of dopamine, norepinepherine, oxytocin, and vasopressin (which I think are neurochemicals, not drugs).

And when you're done with that, here's another long article from The Atlantic about blowjobs.

The Atlantic - sabotaging romantic love since 1857.

You Might Not Die from Drinking D.C. Tapwater

My water bill comes with a nifty little newsletter called "What's on Tap." (Get it? It's a pun.)

Anyway, this month's lead story: "District Drinking Water Meets Federal Requirements for Lead Levels."

The fact that this is newsworthy (which it definitely is) frightens me. Luckily, most of my friends own a Brita filter, which does a great job of keeping the poison lead water cold.

The Most Unoriginal Post of the Day

I know it's a tired act at this point, but I can't resist the temptation to comment on Dick Cheney. The low-hanging fruit can be so delicious at times.

So, I'm at my friend's house for dinner last night (we'll call him Pierre), when he says to me, "Did you hear what Dick Cheney did today?"

"No, I didn't. Did he have a heart attack? Tell a senator to have adult relations with himself? Commit treason?"

Pierre shook his head. "No, no... he shot someone in the face."

The headlines this morning confirmed Pierre's account. Our vice president did indeed shoot his hunting partner, whom he apparently mistook for a quail, in the face and neck. Fortunately, Cheney's victim is doing fine, and remains in "very stable" (as opposed to "sorta stable") condition. Unfortunately, the victim was not Antonin Scalia.

(Yes, I realize this was a completely gratuitous shot at Justice Scalia. This, among other reasons, is why I'll never be able to run for public office.)

Mr. Vice President, if you're reading, a word of advice: You just celebrated your 65th birthday. You're no spring chicken anymore. Your reflexes can't be as sharp as they once were. Don't you think it's time to switch to something a little less hazardous?

UPDATE: Didn't someone write a short story about this?

More Links!

Wow, they're rolling in late today...

• Orbitz' new game, "Dunkin' Mascots."
• Wow. This is a SimCity-type game that allows you to run McDonald's. Not a McDonald's franchise - the entire global corporation, from the slaughterhouse to the stomach. At first, it was unclear whether this game was merely a fun pasttime or a complex attempt at social/poltical commentary. All of my doubt was erased when I took the tutorial, which describes the McDonald's headquarters as follows: "McDonald’s is not a fast food chain but a brand, a lifestyle, a symbol of western culture's superiority. "
• That McDonald's game is a buzz-kill. Falafel King remains my fast food-themed game of choice.
• Interesting. This woman "was charged Friday with smuggling a human head into the U.S. without proper documentation." Bureaucrats and their petty paperwork...

Arbitrary Links to Distract You from Work

• Thanks to DCist for getting the scoop on the fate of the Studio Theatre space on 14th Street. Looks like a Carpool will be opening up next to Cafe 227 fairly soon. Great.
• Thanks to Deadspin for this gem. Although I can see how someone could get Willie Parker and Antwaan Randle-El confused, since they were the only two players who appeared to be alive during the Super Bowl.
• This seems, um, draconian...
• Georgetown continues to roll.
• Game of the week: Tennis Ace. I absolutely love this game.
• UPDATE: This is the best rendition of Gwen Stefani I've ever seen...

Spam

I love the new sponsored links that appear on Gmail. For those who aren't familiar, Google recognizes certain words or phrases in the body of the e-mail you're reading and displays a link or an advertisement that it deems relevant. For instance, when I read an e-mail about the Pittsburgh Steelers, a link to this blog about the Super Bowl* appears. You know why? Because the Steelers are the reigning Super Bowl champions. But I digress...

Although quite clever, this algorithm has some unintended comedic consequences. For instance, as I was checking my spam folder today, Gmail presented me with links to the following delicious recipes...

• Ginger Spam Salad;
• French Fry Spam Casserole;
• Savory Spam Crescents; and
• Spam Breakfast Burrito (serve with salsa!).

* The author of the above referenced blog is Jon Steinback, the Product Marketing Manager of Google Video. Google has apparently invented technology to bring brilliant, dead authors back to life. Perhaps this technology should be called Google Lazarus. Is there anything Google can't do?

Brokeback Spoofs

There are a ton of them. Here are my favs...

• Brokeback to the Future.
• Top Gun II.
• Dukeback Mountain.
• A Really Large Bunny.

(Yes, that last one has nothing to do with Brokeback Mountain. But any story about a gigantic rabbit gets a free pass.)

A Pleasant Surprise

Well, I went to Ajit's show at the Velvet Lounge last night. And, as usual, he did great. He's getting progressively better - which, I suppose, is better than becoming progressively worse. He was undoubtedly aided by the acoustics of the Velvet Lounge, which are immeasurably superior to those of his usual venues.

But, the real surprise of the night was the band that played after him - The Silent Years. From the nervous introduction from the band's lead singer, I thought these guys were going to bomb. Not so. For the next 40 minutes or so, they tore through their repertoire of fun and energetic pop-rock, even getting the crowd involved (I was given a tamborine with Prince's symbol on it, which I shook vigorously). Only one dud in the set - the postmodern "Sharks," which I didn't "get" (maybe I'm too old). My favorite song was their opener, "No Secrets" - which happens to sound like the Killers' "On Top." (I hope the Killers don't go after them.)

Out of a best of 5, I give them 3 1/2 grillz. Check out their schedule - totally worth seeing if they're in your city...

Ajit at Velvet Lounge Tonight @ 10pm

Ajit's playing at the Velvet Lounge tonight at 10pm. He's opening for a group called the Silent Years.

Now, after the weekend I had, I wasn't planning on going out for a while (if ever - like Jerome Bettis, I wanted to retire on a high note). But Ajit needs our support. As you may know, his contemporary adult rock isn't exactly Velvet Lounge material. He'll need a good turnout, otherwise the U-Street hipsters will kick the brown out of him with their retro-pumas.

I'll be there. Will you?

One Shot Wonder?

I really don't have time to respond to this inane drivel, but I feel I must.

Mr. Willis asserts about the Super Bowl: "Enjoy it, but don't count on either team returning to the big game next year in Miami. Both are one-shot wonders, but for different reasons.

The Steelers had to win eight straight games to get their trophy - one of the greatest runs in sports history - and while they played remarkable football down that stretch, they're not a dominant team that figures to be a powerhouse next season. "

In tagging the Steelers as "one-shot wonders," Mr. Willis apparently forgets that they went 15-1 last season, amassing the best regular season record in AFC history since the NFL switched to a 16-game season. They hit a mid-season funk this year after an injury to Ben Roethlisberger ushered in Part II of the Tommy Maddox era. Clearly, Mr. Willis didn't watch a Steelers game all season, because if he did he would have known that Tommy Maddox single-handedly accounted for two losses. If Ben hadn't gotten hurt, it's easy to imagine that the Steelers would have been 9-3 at mid-seasons rather than 7-5, placing them in a dominant position within the AFC. It's also interesting to note that even with Tommy Maddox prominently involved, the Steelers only lost one game decisively all year - the Monday night game in Indianapolis, which happened to be Ben's first game back from his injury. The Steelers were outscored by a total of 19 points in their other four losses, or only about 5 points per loss.

I'm not saying the Steelers are definitely going to repeat next year. They have some key free agents (Randle-El, Chris Hope) who could leave. They may lose their offensive coordinator for the second time in three years. And there's always the element of the unknown - injuries, discord, etc. But to say that the Steelers victory "can't be explained" - coming off a 15-1 season, no less, with the best young quarterback, receiving corps, and one of the best defensive units in the NFL - is simply indefensible.

One more thought - if Indianapolis was "the team that should have been in Detroit" as Mr. Willis claims, why did they get destroyed at home by the Steelers in the playoffs?

Quick Links...

Some of the best links I received over the weekend while I was witnessing the genesis of a dynasty...

• WWEHD?
• Does watching old-school footage of Mike Tyson knocking people out ever get old?
• These Paul Wall grills are priced by the teeth. It was my understanding that most human adults have 32 permanent teeth, which would imply a fixed price per grill. But maybe Paul Wall does make exceptions for certain people.
• Bummed that you won't get your daily dose of hate from Joey Porter now that the footnall season is over? I present to you the Joey Porter Advice Column...
• "If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called '12'."
• This is Betty, the proprietor of the market next to our house. Just wanted to give her a shout-out...

'Nuff Said

Well, time to get caught up on all the work I missed over the last few days while I was in fantasyland...

The Three Rivers of Gotham

Between the currents of the East River and the debris of the Hudson, a third river flows through the heart of Manhattan. I have been here for over five years now, but did not recognize it until this morning. As on each weekday since last Monday (1/23), I made sure to have a Terrible Towel with me before I left my apartment for work. Before today, I had it stuck in the front pocket of my work bag with one of the terrible corners conspicuously sticking out. With it being the Friday before the Super Bowl and all, I opted for a more ostentatious display today. I tucked the towel into my terrible back pocket and made my way to the Chambers Street stop on the 1/2/3 line.

Once down in the subway station, I navigated through, around and between the other commuters to the South end of the uptown platform as I always do in order to shave four or five seconds off of my commute, anticipating the turnstiles at the 50th Street station. I wear headphones and listen to music on my commute like most other young professionals in this town, so, normally, I am completely oblivious to most of my surroundings. This morning was no different --- until a tall man in his mid-40s tapped me on the shoulder, that is. I looked up at him with squinted eyes that were meant to say "What could possibly be so important?" and "Do I look friendly to you?" I did not turn the music down or off, or remove even one earbud. The man smiled at me, pointed towards my terrible ass and offered me a two-step handshake (Slap then bend fingers and pull away). I smiled back and tilted my head backwards to acknowledge the end of our interaction.

When the express train arrived, I walked to a spot against the far doors, skipped a song (skipped "Flesh Canoe" by Animal Collective to get to the more mood appropriate "Touch the Sky" by Kanye West), and put my right hand high on one of the bench poles. The train wasn't full, but I never sit down in the mornings. Between coffee and assorted other stimulants that I may or may not be under orders to take, I am the last person who needs a seat during my morning commute. At the first stop, 14th street, an exiting, puffy-coated, flat-billed-and-crooked-hat wearing late teen poked me in the shoulder to get my attention and then offered a slight variation on the two-step handshake I received at Chambers Street (this time instead of the initial slap we locked thumbs and made fists, step two was the same).

Directly afterwards, a man in a Pittsburgh Pirates cap got into the car, spotted the towel, nodded his head at me approvingly and offered his clenched fist, palm down. I tapped his knuckles with mine and smiled with one corner of my mouth. My head bobbed slightly to the beat of The Clash's "Train in Vain," while the train rolled through 34th and on to the 42nd Street station where I exited.

I found my spot tucked behind the stairwell on the local track side of the platform and leaned against the wall with one leg bent at the knee like I do every morning. I always turn my head the opposite direction of the train's approach and look in the faces of all of the people anticipating the train as a conscious reminder to myself that leaning over the platform's edge and staring into the tunnel does not make the train arrive any sooner. Today as I zoned, looking uptown at the impatient faces of my fellow commuters, I noticed a man about 40 yards away pumping his fist with his thumb extended. I quickly spun my head to make sure there wasn't someone returning his hand signal behind me. That confirmed, I offered my own thumb. Yeah. Thumbs up, motherfucker. I got another thumbs up from the entrance security guard in my midtown office building. So to recap, that's 3 different terrible handshakes and 2 terrible thumbs ups in support of the Steelers all during the course of a door-to-door commute of roughly 22 minutes.

New York isn't Pittsburgh. And Pittsburgh sure as hell isn't New York. But today my now-fellow New Yorkers made this native 'Burgher feel a little of that hometown pride that watching the Steelers always reminds me that I still have. Thanks for reminding me of the hearts of my cities, gritty and urban as I am. I love you, NY. And I miss you, Pittsburgh. Go black and gold!

BREAKING NEWS!

According to this Washington Post article, the U.S. intelligence community regards Al-Qaeda as America's "top concern." Iran and North Korea are also cited as potential threats. In addition, gas prices are high, grass is green, and colonoscopies are uncomfortable.

An End to Metro's Financial Woes

The Metropolitan Transit Authority is auctioning off 40 1986/1987 model flexible buses. Really, I have nothing more to add.

In Search of the Gatekeeper

Fado Irish Pub is having a "Lock and Key" Valentine's Day party on February 11 (which, if I'm not mistaken, is 3 days before Valentine's Day). According to Fado's web site, the premise is as follows: "She gets a lock. You get a key. Every match receives 2 commemorative Stella Pints."

My coworkers here tell me that there's some surreptitious sexual symbolism (hey, I just made an alliteration!) in the theme. Maybe I'm dense, but I don't see it. What this event does remind me of, however, is Ghostbusters. Keymaster? Gatekeeper? Remember? Maybe Fado should have this event on Halloween (or rather, 3 days before Halloween) when it's more appropriate.

(By the way, I just spent the last 20 minutes playing the video game Ghostbusters on the online Commodore 64 game emulator. I'm so getting fired.)

Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow, Predicts Steelers Victory

Apparently, the Groundhog Day festivities turned into an enormous Steelers rally this morning. The good news: Punxsutawney Phil picked the Steelers this Sunday. The better news: Joe Theismann, former American football quarterback (what, did they revoke his citizenship?), picked the Seahawks. That guy's never right...

Defense Spending Cut? Not To Worry...

This little game is the latest reason why I'll be working until midnight tonight. The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls. It's simple yet addictive, kind of like Percocet.

Here's the kicker - I received this game in an e-mail with the following message: "I was told that the U.S. Air Force uses this to train fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes." I think this assertion is either (1) complete bullshit or (2) evidence that Secretary Rumsfeld's efforts to create a leaner military has been an unmitigated disaster.

All that aside, it's really a fun diversion.

The Green Weenie

Yes, I know there have been a lack of posts over the past few days. And I know you're all disappointed. But it simply cannot be helped - I actually have work to do this week.

But, I would be remiss in not pointing out this extremely informative post about the history of the Terrible Towl from Deadspin.

In my opinion, however, the Terrible Towel has had its heyday. Now, every Johnny-come-lately NFL team has its own version of the Terrible Towel, which its fair-weather fans twirl on any given Sunday. It is therefore my suggestion that this Sunday, Steelers fans everywhere dispose of your Terrible Towels and dig up your old Green Weenies. For the unfamiliar, the Green Weenie was a good luck charm that Pirates fans used in the 1970s to jinx opposing players. As Wikipedia helpfully explains here, "the green weenie was a rattle in the shape of a green hot dog."

It is time to bring back this truly unique Pittsburgh tradition.