Cafe 227

Monday, February 13, 2006

The Most Unoriginal Post of the Day

I know it's a tired act at this point, but I can't resist the temptation to comment on Dick Cheney. The low-hanging fruit can be so delicious at times.

So, I'm at my friend's house for dinner last night (we'll call him Pierre), when he says to me, "Did you hear what Dick Cheney did today?"

"No, I didn't. Did he have a heart attack? Tell a senator to have adult relations with himself? Commit treason?"

Pierre shook his head. "No, no... he shot someone in the face."

The headlines this morning confirmed Pierre's account. Our vice president did indeed shoot his hunting partner, whom he apparently mistook for a quail, in the face and neck. Fortunately, Cheney's victim is doing fine, and remains in "very stable" (as opposed to "sorta stable") condition. Unfortunately, the victim was not Antonin Scalia.

(Yes, I realize this was a completely gratuitous shot at Justice Scalia. This, among other reasons, is why I'll never be able to run for public office.)

Mr. Vice President, if you're reading, a word of advice: You just celebrated your 65th birthday. You're no spring chicken anymore. Your reflexes can't be as sharp as they once were. Don't you think it's time to switch to something a little less hazardous?

UPDATE: Didn't someone write a short story about this?


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