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Monday, August 07, 2006

Arash Markazi Must Be Stopped!!!

Many of you who know me are aware of my affection for sports journalism and my sometimes over-the-top criticism of sports journalists whom I consider to be sub par. I have respect for Peter Gammons, a love-hate relationship with Bill Simmons, a fondness for most of Rick Reilly's columns, and a disdain for virtually any Atlanta Journal-Constitution sportswriter (minus Tony Barnhart, of course).

My most passionate hatred in this realm to date, however, has been directed at Arash Markazi of Sports Illustrated. The rage that Markazi's writing inspires in me is unnatural, unnerving, and unhealthy. I am sure that Markazi is a decent guy... he survived cancer and he likes soccer; those are two pluses in my book. His column, however, represents to me everything that is terrible about sports journalism. His whole shtick is to be an unabashed jock-sniffer who concentrates more on the Hollywoodesque aspects of being a professional athlete rather than on such minor things as, oh, I dunno, the actual SPORT or the athlete's TALENT or even the athlete's good nature.

What infuriates me the most, though, is that Markazi isn't even good at what he does. I've read a few of his "columns" and they're not good sports journalism, not good yellow journalism, not good Page Six-ism, they're just...NOT...GOOD.

Markazi's most recent column deals with a party in Los Angeles where Tony Blair, Snoop Dogg, and Venus Williams were hanging out and celebrating with the Chelsea footballers. Besides a few glib remarks and observations about the scene (including a completely unnecessary anecdote about Snoop recognizing Markazi) the "column" adds absolutely nothing to either the literary or sporting worlds. There was no follow up with the Chelsea players about playing in the U.S., about how incredible it was to chat with the P.M. about their prospects, about anything in which a reader might be interested.

Markazi is nothing if not consistent. He cut his teeth as a "reporter" following Matt Leinart around and basically stargazing at athletes. His niche seems to further distance sports from the actual competitions and turn them into cults-of-personality cum reality t.v. cum celebrity stalking. Perhaps this is appealing to some, but it is certainly not to me.

I lament the rise of the celebrity athlete from Babe to DiMaggio to Jordan to Tiger in that it has stripped athletes' privacy from them and turned them from specimens of physical prowess to be admired from the stands to just another uber-rich celebrity to be "seen" with. I hope that someday soon Sports Illustrated will realize that its sports journalistic integrity is on the line and that it should not allow "columnists" like Markazi to write without art or substance.

Until then, I will read my copies of The Best American Sports Writing from years 1989-2004 and search for those who share my passion for perfection both on and off the field.


  • When somebody opens a bottle of sour milk and says, "Oh my God, this smells awful. Hey, come here and smell this," what do you do?

    Markazi didn't hack it at the Walter Cronkite School for Journalism so he ran back to USC to get his ticket punched. He learned how to spell his name, played the semi-canadian card, and managed to steal a bunch of awards.

    He's likely the autistic cousin of an editor who lost a bet. Clearly Whoppner has been replaced with Billy Bush (at least leading him to the only smart move he's ever made, getting Jay Mohr involved in

    But never fear, Markazi's course on the Top 10 Party Schools will intersect somewhere with Pat O'Brien's, and we'll all be reprieved.

    In the meantime, the fewer hits on Markazi's column the better. Don't smell the sour milk, and for God's sake, save yourself from a stroke and skip his article.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:03 AM  

  • The fact that Markazi has a public forum for his tripe is lamentable. (Of course, the fact that we have one is equally as lamentable.)

    Well done Chico.

    By Blogger Johnny Shades, at 9:20 AM  

  • 2 more things:

    1. Not to be pedantic, but it's "journalists whom I consider," not "journalists that I consider." Dumbass.

    2. Thomas Boswell is my favorite baseball columnist of all-time.

    By Blogger Johnny Shades, at 9:54 AM  

  • I think I'm in love with anonymous... that was insightful AND funny.

    By Blogger Chico's Bail Bonds, at 3:20 PM  

  • "Markazi didn't hack it at the Walter Cronkite School for Journalism so he ran back to USC"

    All you need is a pulse and a pair of flip-flops to cut it at ASU and the Cronkite School. Judging from where this kid is at and that we're talking about him, getting a degree from USC wasn't the worst thing he ever did.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:49 PM  

  • I'm with you. I can't stand two-time cancer survivors who find some semblance of success.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:05 PM  

  • Hmmm, anon - I'm not sure Chico's post was meant in that vain. Just because a guy survives cancer, does that mean his journalistic work product is exempt from criticism? Another example - Charles Krauthammer is a paraplegic. Does that mean I can't rail against the inaccurate, hate-filled rubbish he publishes twice a week in the Post?

    By Blogger Johnny Shades, at 4:16 PM  

  • He's fair game, but I don't see the purpose in comparing his "On The Scene" column to anything in "The Best American Sports Writing." It's like comparing US Weekly to the New Yorker. The problem isn't the writer who writes about sharing a drink with Snoop and Venus, its the magazines and websites that pay for the content and the readers that buy it up that's the problem. Markazi's a talented writer, he's done solid features for SLAM in the past and you don't win the awards he has and get a job at SI out of college if you're a hack. I don't think it's his fault if the powers that be want him to do these types of pieces. They serve the same niche market that US, People and other celebrity mags do. It doesn't make it right, but it is what it is.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:14 PM  

  • Anonymous, I think you make some excellent points, but I think that if Markazi does in fact have some talent (I've never seen a piece by him that would support this notion) and DID get a job at SI b/c of said talent, surely he could either: a.) tell the editors that these fluff pieces are ridiculous or b.) [more likely] at least try to fully investigate his assignments and/or write them with some flair.

    The 15 or so columns of his I read before writing this post were entirely uniform in their complete lack of substance and in the low quality of their writing... a gifted writer can turn any subject into something that is worth reading (look at the crime blotter of any local newspaper where sharp young reporters cut their teeth).

    Markazi is dangerous to sportswriting for this reason: not only is he diverting resources from writers going after better quality and more relevant stories; he is not doing a good job covering the drivel to which he's assigned!!! My rage is an attempt (maybe already futile) to stop this growing weed before Markazi becomes an ensconced institution at a respected sports publication.

    By Blogger Chico's Bail Bonds, at 9:05 AM  

  • I don't know, maybe its just me, but I enjoy his party stories, especially the Chelsea one at Skybar. It set a nice scene and was a perfect "fly on the wall" piece, which is what most of these party pieces are supposed to be. I don't know how much more flair you want than the color from Tony Blair talking to the players by the pool or taking a drunk call from a mother-in-law. I thought that was pretty funny.

    I really wasn't looking for a cliched follow up quote from a player on the upcoming season after they met with Blair. If you're looking for the more old school, non "New Journalism" style of writing, I thought he did a good job on his feature of Paul Westhead a couple weeks back.

    Anyway, I'm not saying Markazi is a great writer, but I certainly think you're getting a little carried away with your whole "Markazi is dangerous to sportswriting" rant. The guy writes a weekly column for their website, it's not like he's writing the backpage column yet.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:02 PM  

  • Wow, you really are a fag. Who is the one who has a real journalism job and who's the one writing a blog? Yeah, that's what I thought.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:42 PM  

  • Hey bud, maybe blowing yourself would be a better use of your time than laying down smack on a writer with more talent in his ass hole than you have in your whole body. Yeah? It's just a suggestion...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:56 PM  

  • has anyone read his recent columns about college football?? worst - columns - ever.

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