Best Product Ever

I am in love with a new product.

If I were more learned or capable, I would write an ode to it, or sing its praises in public plazas. Instead, I will blog about it and share its wonders with the five people who read Cafe 227.

Those of you who know me know that I like food. I also have to wear clothes. Sometimes, in my zest for consuming food and beverage, some of the delicious morsels or libations get equally excited and decide to adorn my clothing rather than join the happy wonderland that is my belly. While this is fine with me on a strictly spiritual level, "society" says that "stains" that are "all over my shirt" are "unacceptable."

Well, come to the Church of Procter & Gamble and be saved, my friends, for the little wonder tool you see below has given me a new lease on life. So far, soy sauce splattered from a dropped sushi roll, ketchup from a juicy (yet mildly healthy) turkey burger, and a Mint Condition from Caribou have all been eliminated by the power that is the Tide To-Go Instant Stain Remover SUPERBEING.

I don't know how it works. All I know is that I spill shit on myself, I press some liquid onto my shirt, I close my office door and "work hard" for 10 minutes and the stain is gone.

I'm currently crying tears of joy. Thank you, Tide. Thank you so much. I love you.