Cafe 227

Friday, February 02, 2007

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Attacks Boston

I lot of virtual ink has already been spilled discussing Turner Broadcasting's guerilla marketing tactics in promoting their Cartoon Network show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I have nothing particularly new or insightful to add. But Doza does.

First, check out CNN's coverage of the story:

"Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards "bomb-like" devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged transportation infrastructure in the city."

Doza says: "If pigeons shit nuclear bombs, they too could damage the transportation infrastructure in the city. I guess we got lucky on both counts."

Another priceless line:

"It had a very sinister appearance," [Massachusetts Attorney General Martha] Coakley told reporters. "It had a battery behind it, and wires."

Apparently, devices with batteries and wires are now considered "sinister." This includes everything.

For the record, this is what the "sinister" device looks like:


That's right - Boston was paralyzed by fear for hours on end because of a Lite-Brite.

In conclusion, I'd like to direct you to a news conference perpetrated by the perpetrators of this hoax, who only agreed to answer questions about 1970s hairstyles.



This whole episode has been so patently ridiculous that the real story here has been lost in the shuffle - what could a cartoon called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" possibly be about?