Cafe 227

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Kidnapped by FLETC

Good afternoon all!

I pray everybody has been doing well since I last wrote something intelligible. As you can tell from the title of this editorial, FLETC kidnapped me and held me for ransom but I shot my way out Steven Seagal-style. I am now an old fat white guy with tight jeans and a receding hairline that ends in a ponytail. In other words, I am Doza circa 2033.

Anyway, I have less than four weeks left in the "taint" of the United States. 20 weeks!!! Unbelievable. I should get a freaking award or something. But, it has not been all bad. In fact, my classmates and I entertain ourselves by writing down mispronounced words, non-existing words, and things that make you go "What in the hell?" said by our "instructors". Some examples from the past 20 weeks:

Definization
Legitimated
Wetlock
Physical year (as opposed to fiscal year)
Saudia Arabia (must be a new country that Bush will bomb in 2 weeks)
The opposite of credible is....incredible!
"I heard something out of the corner of my eye..."
Archives (with the "ch" pronounced like "cheese" as oppose to "can you be serious")

And finally, my personal favorite, the following beginning of a sentence was said to us by a lady who has worked in intelligence for over 20 years: "The Pentagon is an octagon-shaped building...."

Wow.

When that one was said, about half of the class turned to the side and had a look as if they smelled busted ass. A guy who sits in front of me, who is a Captain in the Army and a lawyer, looked at me as if he was going to throw up. It was classic.

I have a longer list on my desk because I am the official scribe for our project. On a separate note, I will be in town (DC) this weekend for the last significant time. I hope my cats remember me, even though they love Johnny Shades. As usual, be safe wherever you are and don't say anything stupid!

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