Cafe 227

Friday, January 27, 2006

"To the Extent" I Can't Stand That Phrase...

Lately, I have noticed that certain phrases tend to send me into a violent rage controlled only by my desire to maintain my freedom and anal virginity. At the top of this list is "To the Extent."

This short phrase has quickly gained traction in the vernacular, so widespread that our President has even used it to try to "stay hip with the kids" while "letting cities flood." I realized that the problem was out of control when I received an e-mail regarding helping people get jobs that read:

"To the extent that there are students that are still looking for summer jobs, I will help them to the extent that I can."

To hammer home the point I replied:

"If students still need summer jobs, I will try to help them, too."

I don't know if people are using this phrase as a way of trying to sound smarter, trying to verbally waffle or if they all work Dickensian jobs where they are paid by the word, but it must stop. Some more phrases whose usage MUST be curtailed:

1.) "What's doin'?" Luckily this phrase is mainly confined to Long Island which means it should be phased out after the inevitable evolution of the popluation from homo neanderthalis to homo sapiens.

2.) "It is what it is." Oh really? It's not something else? It's just what you say it is? Hmm... I'll have to think about not only what you said, but the fact that its meaning is limited to... what you said... Profound.

3.) "Good people." She/he's good people. Is she/he really fat so as to require the third person plural? Or are you just being "punchy"? Either way, please stop talking.

I hope that through diligent blogging and long spans of silence after hearing these phrases, we will be able to eradicate them and allow society to move forward with fun buzzwords like "grammar."

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